Copywriting

Are we being manipulated?

My parents used to love going to those free timeshare presentations.

The reason is simple: FREE FOOD!

These things are hilarious. They invite people to come hear their 60-minute pitch, and whether or not you buy, you get some kind of gift — things like free buffet tickets or a free 2-night stay in a Vegas hotel.

Just think of the kind of people they attract with these gifts. But also, think of how good they are at selling, if they can afford to lose money on 90%+ of people who come.

The funniest thing was when they promised my parents a grandfather clock. My dad was so excited, he drove 2 hours to attend the presentation. When he left (not buying, of course), they gave him a grandfather clock…that was 14 inches tall. Hahahaha

These presentations are also funny because of how much they terrify people. I’ve literally seen friends refuse to go because “I don’t want to buy one of those timeshares.” When I said, “uh dude, you don’t have to buy,” they looked at me with frightened eyes. They were AFRAID of their inability to say no.

And that, my friends, is fascinating.

When you get the chance to go face-to-face with an extremely talented salesperson, you take it! What do they know about human nature? How do they build rapport?

Instead of running away from salespeople, advertisements, and marketers, you can learn so much by running towards them and learning everything they know. Just let your Surrogate Asian Father’s voice echo in your head: “Don’t be a dumbass and buy a timeshare today.”

There’s another reason I love studying marketing: I actually love being sold on real products that are going to make my life better!

A few years ago I came across a product called The Truth About Abs. It has the same characteristics as a lot of ebooks — long copy, bold claims — but I started reading. Eventually, I decided to buy. Guess what? The original product was around $50, but by the time I finished going through the checkout process, I had added so many upsells that the total was around $119. And I felt good about my purchase.

Truth about abs book

I bought this. Good product.

If your immediate reaction is “That looks scammy,” then you are missing the point of great marketing. I’m not stupid. Why did I buy something that looks like that when I’m very well-versed in marketing?

The marketing worked, I bought, and I felt great about it. No buyer’s remorse.

That’s selling.

So what can we learn from these examples?

If you’re trying to persuade someone to do something, you have to know what they want — their hopes, fears, and dreams.

If “The Truth About Abs” had been called “46 exercises to strengthen your core, but really your total body, because you can’t burn fat from just one area,” I probably wouldn’t have bought. They knew what I wanted and their copy reflected that.

The second takeaway: if your product can genuinely help someone, you’re doing them a service by selling to them. You don’t have to be obnoxious. You can sell by being honest and straightforward.

Here, let’s take a look at some examples of how easy it can be.

EXAMPLE 1: How a brick and mortar store could easily get more clients.

EXAMPLE 2: How we generated an extra 2,080 subscribers/year by tweaking a few words.

Example #1: Add a few words, make $6,750 more

I’ve walked by this building called “pure barre” dozens of times. I had no idea what it was and I didn’t care. Until I heard some friends talking about it one day. Turns out it’s a ballet-based fitness program that offers incredible, low-impact workouts.

But look at their sign:

pure barre

How would you attract customers to this business?

Do you see the problem here? Just looking at it, I couldn’t tell you for sure how to pronounce the name, much less what they do inside.

But if you’re a woman looking for a fun, new workout you’d want to know. You’d want them to grab your attention and get you to try their services.

Let’s assume the business could get more customers by changing their copy just a little. In fact, let’s run the numbers. What if you could get:

Number of new walk-ins per day: 10

Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 1/10

Revenue per membership: $225/month

Additional revenue after one month: $6,750

An additional $6,000+ in one month! You can debate me on the numbers, but you get the point. It adds up quickly.

Here, let me show you how easy it can be. These Photoshop examples are a good reminder of why I hire professional designers instead of doing it myself.

pure barre fitness for women

Now people know what this damn thing is

Boom! Now women walking by have a reason to check it out. And guys like me can keep walking.

Could we do more here? What if we had a picture in one of those big windows of the people actually doing the workout? Or offered a benefit their target audience wanted. For instance:

highlighting benefits

Boost sales by highlighting benefits

Selling isn’t about manipulation. Sometimes it’s is as simple as showing people how you can help them. It is a win-win. You get customers, they get a problem solved.

Example #2: A simple tweak generates 2,080 subscribers/year

At IWT, the #1 thing we have to capture people’s attention and turn them into customers is the writing — “copywriting” — on our site. That’s why we’re constantly tweaking it and testing it to make it as good as it can be.

Here’s a test we ran on our opt-in copy. We made two slightly different offers to see which would lead to more people subscribing to our email list. Can you guess which won out?

Opt-in copy #1

A test

Opt-in copy #2

b test

A test we ran with our opt-in copy

The second version got 27.6% more opt-ins. That’s an additional 40 subscribers every week.

That’s 2,080 extra subscribers a year. If just 1 in 100 goes on to purchase Earn1K or Zero to Launch, this test alone would bring in an extra $40,000+ in revenue every year.

Simple. Straightforward. And we deliver on our promises. That’s marketing.

Your turn

Let’s pretend you’re the General Manager of that Barre class.

If you were in charge, what would you do to capture the attention of people passing by? What writing would you put on the storefront to get your message out there?

Bonus points to anyone who can include some math in your assumptions and show me how much revenue it would generate.

Let me know in the comments below.

P.S. I hope you guys are enjoying this. Personally, I find it fascinating how businesses persuade us (and how we influence each other). Tomorrow, I’ll go deeper into this. Talk to you then.

There Are 118 Comments

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Is this the best way to find a message to test?

Okay, so, I’m a professional copywriter.

(The type that actually sells stuff, not the other kind.)

People pay me big $$$ to come up with sales pages, video scripts, lead capture pages and autoresponder copy.

But… I am COMPLETELY UNQUALIFIED to give any (good) suggestions on how this Pure Barre place could boost walk-ins

Here’s why:

I don’t know the average customer.

Look at the other comments in this thread.

Notice something about the phrasing on 90% of the comments here?

It’s all I, Me, My, I like…

Public Service Announcement For Anyone Else In This Thread:

Great Marketing Is NOT About What YOU Like

In fact, I REQUIRE all my clients to pay $1,250 for market research before I’ll write a word for them.

I’ll show you one of the methods I use to get insanely profitable insights in a minute…

But first, let me tell you a quick story…

I had a client a little while back, a bigwig in the marketing industry, you would probably know who he is if I said his name.

His site headline appealed to what he thought were the benefits his SAAS product targeted.

We sent out a survey to his customers, and asked:

“What was the #1 thing you hoped to gain by using this?”

And…

“What’s the #1 thing you like about using this?”

Those questions covered expected benefits (that closed the sale), and actual experienced benefits (that got people to actually use the damn thing).

Now, this guy is a BIG NAME and he knows his market better than the back of his left thumb.

But…. he…. he got the appeal completely WRONG!

In fact, we were able to sort his customers into three buckets, with three distinct reasons they bought/didn’t buy.

46% bought because it was the easiest to use.

46% bought because it was the best looking solution

And… only a paltry 8% bought because of the appeal he highlighted.

This was a shocker for both me and my client.

(We are currently testing out 5 headline variations and I’ll be posting the results with his permission when they’re available.)

But … what if you don’t have customers to survey?

(Or, what if you’re just doing this all hypothetically in a blog comment?)

Well, here’s a valuable suggestion on how to come up with words based on research instead of conjecture:

First I searched in Google “I love Pure Barre because”

Next thing I’m gonna do is create a Google sheet to organize what people love into some buckets.

Okay, so in that Google sheet I have the results from one page of Yelp reviews.

I were getting paid for this I would go into excruciating detail.

I dig through Facebook reviews, read forums, blogs, analyze SEO trends etc. I really get to know what the market loves & hates, what the competition offers, what NOT to say…

The point is, the sign I created would be based off of LISTENING FIRST, then putting out a sign that I know will appeal to the type of people who would most fit in.

Suppose you put up a sign that said “Lose 5 lbs in 30 days”

That sign got 15% more women to walk in…

BUT those women generally only stuck around for the trial membership.

Their lifetime value was $50.

Now, suppose you put up a sign that said: “Mix up your workout with amazing instructors who really push you.”

That sign only got 5% more walk-ins. BUT those walk-ins converted at a higher percentage into long-term customers…

The lifetime value of these “ideal” customers is 6 months at $99/mo.

A whoppin’ $600 a piece!

What would you rather have:

23 people coming in a day with 10% conversion to customers worth $50.

(Monthly profit: $3,450)

OR

21 people coming in a day with 10% conversion to customers worth $600

(Monthly profit: $37,800)

Would you like more customers or more profit?

Oh, you’d like more profit?

Good. Then the answer isn’t just about getting MORE, it’s about getting more of the RIGHT CLIENTS.

I could go on and on about this… (Are signs even the best medium? etc)

Ramit:

You could make claims like “Discover My 3-Step System to Generating $15,000 a Month With The Push of a Button Enter Your Email Below:”

Maybe it would get you a higher conversion percentage?

But that would attract the dopamine addicted opportunity buyers who you actually want to REPULSE!

AND it would turn off the people you wanted to attract.

So it all starts with WHO Pure Barre wants to attract.

They need to find the “true fans” who really “get it” and are the type to “stick around” because THAT’s where the real profit increase lies.

As a 30 something woman who finds the gym a boring chore, my ears would prick up at the idea of time wizzing past in the classes, so my suggestion would be in large block letters in the window;
“1 hour feels like 10 mins or your money back!”
“Come in and see how fast time goes in our Booty Bashing Ballet class”
“Walk in, work out, leave a sweaty mess and happy it only feels like 10 mins or working out”
“Sure, enjoy your 45 min run on the treadmill……..or you can walk in here and join us for a class and see how quickly that 45 mins is really”

pure barre – train the ballerina in you.

The concept of pure barre is to incorporate ballet teachings into a workout. I know a lot of people that had thought of trying out ballet but let that opportunity slide by. As we get older we often look back at the things we let slip by and want to try them in our adult life. We won’t all be in pointe shoes and asked to become a member of a ballet company, but appealing to the inner desires of people – male and female – you can attract many people to inquire about your product with the additional tagline.

Using some conservative math:
original pure barre sign yields:
Number of new walk-ins per day: 10
Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 1/10
Revenue per membership: $225/month
Additional revenue after one month: $6,750

A Tagline with more description in it could be seen to yield:
Number of new walk-ins per day: 25
Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 3/25
Revenue per membership: $225/month
Additional revenue after one month: $20,250

A little more description would bring in a more specific client base, capture a larger age group, potentially yield more purchases, and almost triple revenue. You would also attract a larger overall base because you’ve given enough information to allow all people to understand both how to pronounce the word barre, and appeal to the inner unsatisfied child in a larger group of people. Not to mention the fact that you’ve also provided context for those who may not have understood the original business name, and allowed for a greater infusion of overall clientele.

Ballet is a lovely low impact workout. As a male, depending on my own misgivings, this may also be something that can help me refine grace, meet women, and have a conversation starter. Many more men I know in their 30’s and 40’s are turning to dance lessons to help them feel more confident, increase their assertiveness, and learn to dance. Plus, as a woman, when a samba or rhumba come on and I can find a man that know how to dance to it, take charge of the dance and truly allow me to follow his lead, it’s a real turn-on.

Pure Barre could also offer something a little more interesting than a straight yoga or pilates class.

Hi!
On that Barre;
I would put 2 image signs at the start & end of the name.
Also; under the name i would write:
‘Great place to get fitt’=in italics.

On the window; i do put a full image reflecting a fit female.

Not sure exactly what I’d write, but I’d definitely want to take in the following:
1. Many women wanted to be ballerinas as little girls. “Embrace your inner ballerina”
2. Dancers have AMAZING bodies, and we want to look like them. Insert words like “lean”, “lithe”, “limber” and “flexibility” (alas, the last one does not fit into the alliteration of the others)

“Ballet inspired workouts to give you that lean dancer’s body!”

Just add one more word ” body and movement”. ( i’m not native english speaker so you maybe have a better word for movement) Personally I’m jealous of dancers movements. Really elegant and beautiful! With that sign I would go and try ..even though I already have that body!

“Victoria’s Secret models are sworn by this workout..”

“60-minute Full body toning and sculpting with Barre”

“You are BARRE: Beautiful, Amazing, Refined, Ravishing,& Elegant”

Jean-Michel Brunet

“Fitness with a ballet twist.”

This might speak to women who want are interested in fitness and who practiced ballet at some point in their lives. Bringing back positive memories and sparking curiosity about a ballet based fitness program.

Interesting… I’ve never been in a Pure Barre, but there’s one near my office and I guessed it was some sort of ballet based exercise without talking with anyone or researching the company. As a late-20s white woman, I wonder how common my interpretation of the name is. Speaking in generalities, but if the target market is white women and white women have cultural exposure to ballet and therefore have some idea of what the business is offering, does it matter that Surrogate Asian Father has no idea? You’re not their target.

That’s not to say that they couldn’t improve further, but I’m guessing the name already means something to their ideal customer.

Thanks for this. I popped over to see if anyone else mentioned it. I’m in my early 40s, white woman as well… and “barre” has a strong association with ballet for me. I couldn’t be 100% sure, of course, but ballet-based workout was my first guess too.

Ramit, I’m wondering if adding the extra information that you mentioned could ever be a bad thing for the business? For example, I can imagine a scenario where attracting more men to the business might actually put off some of the women, who are actually the target market?

I could add something like this below the name “Will You Join Us If Losing Xlbs in 30days only requires dancing for fun?”

I believe leaving that rhetoric question outside will make people say “YES” in their head and join them.

Though the word “barre” is fairly well known among their target market, there is a barrier with dance fitness where people believe that it isn’t for them. THEY can’t partake because they aren’t coordinated enough, thin enough, etc. Massive intimidation factor goes on in the dance world. (I know this as someone who has been in it for over 25 years always trying to recruit new dancers!). Addressing that AND explaining the type of fitness could help immensely.

“Get a dancer body using classic ballet technique made simple for every one.” would be something I’d test.

Another test would be
Strong, lean, dancer bodies for all.

I completely agree, and the test for the two opt in boxes is brilliant. Going to change mine and test it right now.

I’d put a big ass sign hung from the railing, or possibly a “sandwich” board on the sidewalk, with an big arrow pointing inside. The sign would read:

“Drop A Full Dress Size This Month Free
Come Inside Studio Now For Details”

and I’d test that against something along the line of:

“Drop One Full Dress Size By Thanksgiving
Come inside studio now for your Free 3-Step
Fitness Plan Personalized to Your Weight Loss Goals”

The response mechanism is a tough call. Do you drive them inside the studio or respond by phone, maybe even email. It could be just drop off a business card.

It would have to be tested to find the optimal results. I suspect that ladies who walk-in would be 5x better prospects. And a person trained in a modicum of selling could close a good number of walk-ins. Much could be said about the face to face selling process as well, it should be well planned, choreographed, and not left to chance.

But either way, when the prospect makes contact immediately collect contact info for follow-up marketing.

Well thought out approach . With so many weight loss programs claiming to do something similar. I would test,
Drop One Full Dress Size By Thanksgiving
Come inside studio now for your Free 3-Step Fitness Plan Personalized to “Your Healthy Body Goals”
There is a big push in media for people to accept themselves as beautiful regardless of there body shape and I would want to ride that wave and test it. Also, I agree with your thoughts on a well planed person to person sales approach.

I’m going to steal Audrey’s phrase – inner ballerina, I like that.
“Raising the bar on fitness to awaken your inner ballerina”
or
“Raise the bar on fitness, awaken your inner ballerina”
I like the idea of appealing to the inner dancer as the main objective while also ensuring potential customers understand the fitness aspect. Do something you enjoy, and the bonus is you’ll get fit while doing it. That’s a win-win.
And I’ll say that because the slogan is specific to the type of activity within, more of the walk in traffic will come in having already determined they are interested at least in the concept. So you may not get an extra 10 per day because maybe 2 of those 10 aren’t interested in ballet. So let’s say you get 8 additional walk-ins, but a higher conversion. Let’s say 2.
New clients – 2 per day
Membership rate – $225
Additional revenue per month – $13,500
I know that I personally don’t like walking into a place if I don’t have some idea of what I’m in for. Although I do know what Barre is, if I didn’t, I’d probably walk on by without giving it a second thought. I think that if you are clear with your description, the traffic you get will be more inclined to become paying customers because they are choosing to enter your establishment already knowing what’s inside.

I think using the lose weight slogans positions it as just another fad or another possible workout style. This can deter a portion of the target market away. Rather since it’s a group workout, I think targeting women who are social and like to workout in groups may be a good approach.

My ad would look something like:
“Workout, Make friends – 2 for 1 Special”
To make a good visual, I would recommend putting posters of presenting an image what’s going to happen to them inside and out. This would be posters of women working out together, smiling, looking happy. If there are group ballet positions that require a partner have a poster of that with the two women smiling and working together in the pose.

When I reread my post, the thought of “build a community” popped into my head. So I would build a great friendly atmosphere to have women enjoy working out together, possibly chatting afterwards if I had a juice bar or espresso machine inside and allowing them to get to know each other and be social. Now, I think that would inspire women to come to the workouts on a regular basis and start their day with some fun and exercise. In turn, this would extend recurring memberships, lower costs to acquire new members and the 2 for 1 deal would bring in great referrals.

Hi.
I’m surprised to see a couple of typos in the email copy. I’ve never seen it before in your emails. I hope everyone on the team is well and their families are ok.

pure barre a unique workout for a busy woman. Or awaken your inner dancer and get inches off your waistline.

It all depends on what audience the owners are trying to target. What kind of neighborhood this studio is in? Who is most likely to walk by every day? Several images of happy people exercising would work great. I would revise the name itself. The only reason I know what’s a barre is because my daughter took ballet class. Otherwise I would think of protein bars.
Cheers.

Claudia Monterroso

I’d add: Pure Barre
Pure workout for women.
I’d also change the font of the sign letters, even the color too.

Great marketing tips, I am pretty much agreed with your lines that marketing is not manipulation. with just simple statement pro marketer can penetrate to the mind and soul of target audience. Like first create a need and then give a effective solution. WIN-WIN

Bo Gulledge

That’s crazy! Ramit, you’re psychic! I just saw one of these places yesterday and thought, “What is this place.” I guessed it was dance/workout clothing. Now I know!

– Get in shape & have fun
– A brand-new workout for a brand-new you – Girls only
– You dreamed about it as a little girl: get it now !
– Let’s dance & have fun while working out
– Dance like mad and get in shape
I like Pam’s assumptions about revenues.

Pure Barre is doing it exactly right. It’s to attract people familiar with ballet — I knew what it was immediately. If any of the above copy suggestions were added, I’d have never tried it.

Spot on. Previous exposure to ballet has already built a strong anchor that takes people back the feelings they had when in great shape (and fully immersed) from ballet. You already believe that if you could just do the same drills you did when younger – you would experience the same state.

Just ask anyone with ballet exposure.

And ballet is positioned as simple, minimalist and elegant. Any altered signage would need to have that same flavour.

The pure marketing approach would be to test different signage. And remember that getting new leads/clients may not be the constraint for this business. It might be not enough room, shortage of trained team to lead classes.

The owners may also have strategically chosen to limit the business for lifestyle reasons, or may have other strategies that work so well the additional (less ideal criteria filling) leads from signage are far less valuable.

Doing case studies like this can generate loads of ideas, but the best value is to reflect the thoughts and ideas back into our own businesses, and then act strategically (for a clear purpose) to select the best options.

Cheers
James

I agree with S and with James. The attraction is for women who had exposure to ballet when they were younger and who would still love to dance and look like a dancer. I think a sub-heading using James’ suggestion of “simple” and adding “ballet” could convey the source of the exercise and allude to the results (that dancer’s body!).
Pure Barre
A simple ballet approach to fitness

“Lose 5lb in one month while learning elegant dancing!”

I think reinforcing the elegant or strong look/skills of a dancer is also as important as mentioning weight loss.

How about, “Ladies, Dance your way to Beauty and Health!”

It’s obviously for women, every girl wants to be pretty and in shape, and dancing is a whole lot more fun then sweating your running shorts off at a gym. Plus it says “your”, which gets the potential customer thinking “me”.

“I can have fun and dance my way to beauty and health? No more boring elliptical? For ladies only? No more creepy men undressing me with their eyes as they pretend not to look? Sign me up!”

Average US gym membership is $58/Mo according to Statistic Brain Research Institute. If it attracted at least 5 new customers, which sounds like a conservative estimate, you’re looking at another $3,600 a year (for a one time expense with no additional overhead).

Just re-read the main post and some other comments.

If membership is $225/mo, then only five new paying customers would bring in another $1,125 a month, or $13,500 a year.

And, of course, more customers would make the math look even better.

pure barre – dance to your dream body!

This should attract women & men ( if this place accommodates men too) who love dance and also the ones who want to get in shape.

So you are not just selling fitness … You are selling dreams. :)

I’d display a life-sized picture of an attractive woman in the front window right by the door with the caption “go from a size 10 to a size 4 in under 3 months while having fun– ask me how”

I would add ” Have Fun & Lose Weight ” — this has a sense of mischief as it makes you wonder what kind of fun it is that will help you lose weight :; !! You could say ” Learn Ballet and Lose weight ” but mine is more intriguing ..!!

Apart from the change in the tagline I would do a promotion — ” dance with your friend –it is more fun — introduce a friend and get 20% off your next month’s fee ” and also intorduce a “dance competition ecxclusivey for the new members ”

With all of the above my registration will bump up

Here are some numbers

BEFORE :
Number of new walk-ins per day: 10
Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 1/10
Revenue per membership: $225/month
Additional revenue after one month: $6,750

AFTER

Number of new walk-ins per day: 15
Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 3/15
Revenue per membership: $225/month
Additional revenue after one month: $20,750

Ramit,

great writeup as usual. though in relation to timeshare presentations, though i need to share a safety-story lest you & your readers get more than they bargained for.

a couple i know was in the dominican republic and went to a timeshare presentation. while buying was not the specific object of their vacation, they were considering doing such, so going on the timeshare for an hour presentation meshed perfectly with their plans.

they made the phone call, a van came to their hotel to pick them up. they took the tour and saw the presentation. the timeshare was not what they were looking for so when offer-time came up, they politely declined to buy into a development that wasn’t for them, that did not meet their needs.

well these timeshare people got really nasty. they also refused to bring my friends back to their hotel, basically ejecting them out to some main road. my friends are fluent in spanish so they had no trouble calling a cab to come get them.

the story ended happily enough and they both laugh about it. however, i have to point out that, as great a vacation spot the dr is, a lesser couple facing that scenario could have been in serious trouble.

so fellow readers, enjoy the free food & grandfather clock, but take care with what you get yourselves into! and make a point of going earlier in the morning so you have ample daylight to get yourself out there if such is needed. similar applies to car dealerships that send someone to pick you up.

back to marketing: Jackie’s above idea of “1 hour feels like 10 mins or your money back!” is a winner.

I would have the windows uncovered so people could see the class in session.
I am familiar with this type of exercise. a guy could benefit. too.

I think the focus on women only is a mistake. Granted, this type of workout is probably never going to be as attractive to men as to women, but there are ways to greatly increase your market by being more gender balanced in your approach.

Step 1: New slogan:

Pure Barre : Ballet Your Way Fit; or
Pure Barre: Ballet Your Way to Fitness
I like the punchiness and rhythm of the first option, myself. Either way, This makes it clear that this a path to fitness (not necessarily weightloss, which is a more specific goal that might not be shared by everyone) and dance-based (but not necessarily only for those who are knowledgeable about ballet anyway)

Step 2:

Add visuals of gorgeous, healthy, STRONG dancers to your marketing materials. Some people will be automatically turned off by the ballet reference and their preconditioned assumptions (high prevalence of anorexic females, effeminate males in ballet). Need visuals to counteract those assumptions and show what these workouts can produce — lean, muscular, beautifully fit and elegant people.

Step 3:

Start Friday “Happy Hour” intro classes — free first session for women and free first MONTH for men. Have a 30 minute “healthy drinks and snacks” break between sessions so that people can mix and mingle. Goal is to get more men into the studio, and make this a place for people to meet potential partners. Encourage people to share their relationship successes on your social media channels.

Step 4:

Once you have a decent male clientele built up through the gender neutral marketing and happy hour approaches, start classes targeting men in particular. Offer “bring a friend” incentives for existing male members. Roll out a promotional campaign with visuals of great, strong dancers.

Result: Become the new fitness craze for both men AND women. Immediately increase your potential market by 100% compared to focusing on women alone.

# of new daily walk-ins: 20
# of walk-ins who try a free weekly session: 70/week
# of free session attendees who buy a membership: 35/week
Additional revenue: $31,500/month

I was thinking along the same lines of offering a free week or class for people to try it out. Having free open classes during the times of day with highest frequency of drop-ins could be part of that as well.

Pure Barre – Tiptoe your way to losing 5lbs in 1 month. I’d add a large picture of a ballerinas feet, standing on her toes on one of the windows. I think this would make the messaging crystal clear as to what the business is about.

I don’t think the number of walk-ins will increase because the messaging is more targeted, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But the people who do walk will be more responsive and more likely to sign up for a monthly membership.

Here are some numbers

BEFORE :
Number of new walk-ins per day: 10
Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 1/10
Revenue per membership: $225/month
Additional revenue after one month: $6,750

AFTER

Number of new walk-ins per day: 10
Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 2/10
Revenue per membership: $225/month
Additional revenue after one month: $13,500

I’ve been taking barre classes regularly for a couple months now. Some of the proposed copy listed above doesn’t accurately reflect what the workout entails. It certainly does not feel like you’ve only been working out for 10 minutes! It’s also not really dance-oriented like a Zumba or Belly-dancing class.

During my first barre class, I had two thoughts: “ohmygod my muscles are burning” and then “wow if I keep doing this I’m going to look 5 years younger.”

Benefits – “women’s fitness” is too vague and usually just code for “lose weight.” What differentiates barre from most other workouts marketed to women is that you actually build muscle. It yields improvements in strength, posture, muscle definition, flexibility, range of motion, energy, mental clarity, etc.

So my proposed taglines:
Workout with us twice a week to take years off your appearance
Sculpt your legs and lift your booty an inch higher
Get strong and shapely like a dancer
Strength training and body sculpting for women

It’s fascinating that we have two schools of thought in these comments. On the one hand, we have people who want to use numbers, some of whom don’t know anything about women’s fitness or bodies (“Go from a size 10 to a size 4” — even if that’s possible, no woman will believe that) and those who want to evoke a feeling (“Awaken your inner ballerina”). I’m curious as to which works better for women’s fitness, although my money’s on the second approach. Ramit has written elsewhere that men respond to “get a six-pack” copy while women use language like “balance” to describe what they want in fitness — and they’re probably not talking about one-legged yoga poses. I also agree with whoever said it doesn’t matter that men don’t know what barre means; the target market does. Niche it down, as they say.

(sorry about the formatting on the other comment)

Is this the best way to find a message to test?

Okay, so, I’m a professional copywriter.

(The type that actually sells stuff, not the other kind.)

People pay me big $$$ to come up with sales pages, video scripts, lead capture pages and autoresponder copy.

But… I am COMPLETELY UNQUALIFIED to give any (good) suggestions on how this Pure Barre place could boost walk-ins

Here’s why:

I don’t know the average customer.

Look at the other comments in this thread.

Notice something about the phrasing on 90% of the comments here?

It’s all I, Me, My, I like…

Public Service Announcement For Anyone Else In This Thread:

Marketing Is NOT About What YOU Like

In fact, I REQUIRE all my clients to pay $1,250 for market research before I’ll write a word for them…

So I will know what their market likes and doesn’t like…

I’ll show you one of the methods I use to get insanely profitable insights in a minute…

But first, let me tell you a quick story…

I had a client a little while back, a bigwig in the marketing industry, you would probably know who he is if I said his name.

His site headline appealed to what he thought were the benefits his SAAS product targeted.

We sent out a survey to his customers, and asked:

“What was the #1 thing you hoped to gain by using this?”

And…

“What’s the #1 thing you like about using this?”

Those questions covered expected benefits (that closed the sale), and actual experienced benefits (that got people to actually use the damn thing).

Now, this guy is a BIG NAME and he knows his market better than the back of his left thumb.

But…. he…. he got the appeal completely WRONG!

In fact, we were able to sort his customers into three buckets, with three distinct reasons they bought/didn’t buy.

46% bought because it was the easiest to use.

46% bought because it was the best looking solution

And… only a paltry 8% bought because of the appeal he highlighted.

This was a shocker for both me and my client.

(We are currently testing out 5 headline variations and I’ll be posting the results with his permission when they’re available.)

But … what if you don’t have customers to survey?

(Or, what if you’re just doing this all hypothetically in a blog comment?)

Well, here’s a valuable suggestion on how to come up with words based on research instead of conjecture:

First I searched in Google “I love Pure Barre because”

Next thing I’m gonna do is create a Google sheet to organize what people love into some buckets.

Okay, so in that Google sheet I have the results from one page of Yelp reviews.

I were getting paid for this I would go into excruciating detail.

I dig through Facebook reviews, read forums, blogs, analyze SEO trends etc. I really get to know what the market loves & hates, what the competition offers, what NOT to say…

The point is, the sign I created would be based off of LISTENING FIRST, then putting out a sign that I know will appeal to the type of people who would most fit in.

Suppose you put up a sign that said “Lose 5 lbs in 30 days”

That sign got 15% more women to walk in…

BUT those women generally only stuck around for the trial membership.

Their lifetime value was $50.

Now, suppose you put up a sign that said: “Mix up your workout with amazing instructors who really push you.”

That sign only got 5% more walk-ins. BUT those walk-ins converted at a higher percentage into long-term customers…

The lifetime value of these “ideal” customers is 6 months at $99/mo.

A whoppin’ $600 a piece!

What would you rather have:

23 people coming in a day with 10% conversion to customers worth $50.

(Monthly profit: $3,450)

OR

21 people coming in a day with 10% conversion to customers worth $600

(Monthly profit: $37,800)

Would you like more customers or more profit?

Oh, you’d like more profit?

Good. Then the answer isn’t just about getting MORE, it’s about getting more of the RIGHT CLIENTS.

I could go on and on about this… (Are signs even the best medium? etc)

Ramit:

You could make claims like “Discover My 3-Step System to Generating $15,000 a Month With The Push of a Button Enter Your Email Below:”

Maybe it would get you a higher conversion percentage?

But that would attract the dopamine addicted opportunity buyers who you actually want to REPULSE!

AND it would turn off the people you wanted to attract.

So it all starts with WHO Pure Barre wants to attract.

They need to find the “true fans” who really “get it” and are the type to “stick around” because THAT’s where the real profit increase lies.

So the question above is asking how you would get more people passing by through the doors. And hopefully, get them to sign up.

So this isn’t a positioning battle against competitors on a national stage to build awareness. And it’s not trying to sell an info product or anything like that. (Which a lot of people in the above comments are confusing it seems.)

As an advertiser my goal would be to 1.) Break into a busy woman’s attention span 2.) Get her to take action by coming inside for a few minutes for more info.

I’m going to assume that our sales team is good and they can close at the industry average. And I’m also going to assume that any new member special offer is optimal.

I looked around Pure Barre’s website. They have a lot of good videos and copy on their site. A few comments mentioned that the target audience already knows what a barre is. I agree and just clicking around on the site I also get that impression.

The trouble with a short sign or ad is that it’s really hard to explain the barre/ballet concept to someone walking by. Remember, a professional woman in any major metro area has countless things on her mind. “Do I look fat in this outfit? Am I going to be late for work? Do I have time to stop at Starbucks? Is he going to call me back? Oh, I should check on Jenny later. She’s having boyfriend trouble…”

Do you really think she’ll take the time to read about some obscure ballet/fitness concept? She probably already has a gym membership, or does other fitness classes. You’re not trying to convince anyone of anything here. You just want attention.

So to breakthrough that wall, I’d run this sign outside:

Cosmo magazine said Pure Barre workouts are “a surefire way to Natalie Portman’s svelte “Black Swan” bod.”

Women’s Health wrote they’re “the secret to scoring a dancer’s trim and toned shape.”

Now you try them with our new member special! Ask {sales associate’s name} inside for details.

(Maybe test putting a price in the last line. Or try the old “less than a buck a day” line.)

Here’s why I think it has a good shot at working:

First, credibility is baked into it. I took those quotes from Cosmo and Women’s Health articles on Pure Barre/ballet fitness. Women love Cosmo and everything the magazine has to say. I’m sure some of the ladies here will cringe at that last sentence. But you can’t deny the magazine’s popularity and sales figures.

I don’t know anything about Women’s Health, but it has a good “higher authority” feel to it.

There’s also a bandwagon appeal here. Someone reading thinks, “I haven’t heard of Pure Barre, but maybe I should have. In fact, I have to know more now!”

Plus, if the company already paid for the press placements, I’m sure they’ve determined that these readers are their ideal customers. Anyone who is not into these magazines will just walk by.

Second, I’ve dimensionalized “lose weight, get toned” by mentioning Natalie Portman and a dancer’s trim and toned shape. This creates more of an emotional connection, a strong mental picture in a woman’s mind. I don’t think the second quote would have been effective on its own. But with the first one, it’s awesome. The more different ways you say something, the more true it becomes type of idea.

Thirdly, it has intrigue. The words barre, Black Swan, and dancer are all there. There’s a hint that it’s something dance-related, but I don’t give it all away. The prospect has to either go inside or look it up to find out more.

So now that I have a baller ad. I’m going to assume walk-ins surge to 50 per day. If every 1 out of 10 buy a membership, then that’s 5 new customers per day.

At $225 per membership that’s $33,750 in additional revenue.

Pure Barre: Body Benefits, For Life.

It helps to know the origins of barre work, and where it comes from. Those who already do know this is true. The objective is to reel in those who don’t, at least get them in the door, with perhaps videos through the window. It’s a discipline that becomes part of your DNA and can prevent all kinds of health issues, apart from keeping you slim. It was around scores of years before Pilates, which is a spin off. A great benefit is posture and alignment, the lengthening and strengthening of all muscle groups, cardio, and concentration, all at the same time. This new concept:
barre for the mainstream, has good potential, done right.

I teach barre, yoga, dance, and other fitness classes and I admit that I get really hung up on choice of words. Since I have written countless in-depth papers on the benefits of isometric muscle contraction and the artistic benefits to the brain and the overlooked aspects of self-expression through movement I have a hard time editing my lines down. If you ask me what barre will do for you, you will get a speech of very beneficial information. I always worry that shortening the title will make the complex benefits sound like a flashy gimmick. But I am slowly realizing that people want quick solutions to their problems even if the path requires some patience, so I ask myself what is the quickest result they will see and when? One surprising benefit of barre is how it can improve neuro-muscular patterns to create stability after experiencing an injury. I might say “Pure Barre: Bounce back into shape fast” It doesn’t appeal to me acoustically but you can read it quickly while driving by and be intrigued enough to stop in and get the long speech from me :)

Hi,
(I’m European ( Danish ) so bear with me in terms of grammatical errors etc. 😉

The Barre training resides under the ‘ballet moves ( not dance ) / pilates / yoga / etc’ category. Subcategories are likely to involve elements of meditation / mindfulness / rawfood / juicing / healthy living. It might be about loosing some additional kg / pounds, but primarily it’s about gaining a strong, beautiful ( e.g. perfect posture ) and flexible body, plus as a benefit of all workouts, great mental wellbeing (radiant selfconfidence), because you both look and feel good due to the training. ! And especially this kind of training will make you feel strong, beautiful and feminine = like a desirable woman ( big or thin ) .

I dont get the ‘little girl ballerina’ suggestions, as a woman it would never appeal to me, quite the opposite, and the ‘quick fix to loose xx kg/ pounds’ seems a bit tacky / watered out by excessive use.

To me it’s primarily ‘a body & mind thing’ – about enhancing your personal feminine beauty and strength. Softness (femininity ), grace & strength. On the inside and the outside. All within reach for any woman through commitment to this special kind of bodytraining. ( note: they dont dance, they mould their bodies beautiful with dancers barre training )

‘Sculp your body beautiful’ / & strong’

And a huge window image projecting that special feeling.

💭 // Christina

First – let me say that I think the premise of this article is dead-on correct. Every word in it about marketing and speaking to your audience and how it can make a difference in your bottom line sales I agree with 1000%.

I happen to be VERY interested in marketing and psychology AND I’m a girl that works out 5 days a week and pays $10-$20/class extra for my fitness classes in addition to my gym membership. So I am the exact target market for this business.

I will tell you that they opened up in the higher-income part of town (upstate NY) with no signs, no promotion, no marketing, and EVERY SINGLE hot/young/20-50 year old woman in town made it their business to get in to join.

They got a couple girls who were in the “in” crowd to start it and they limit the number of people for the class and make you reserve a spot to come to work out….

Let me tell you, I can’t get in most of the time.

I feel that they don’t advertise/market the traditional way a fitness place would because they want to give off a more exclusive, you can’t get in unless you are special, and hot, and have money to spend sort of vibe.

That’s the women who go there – $400 workout outfits, reservation, reserved class size. So when you do go, you really get the feeling that it’s an exclusive club, not the typical gym experience.

I think they are dead on with their approach. It’s certainly working here in upstate NY.

Follow up to this…

Most women get very bored of the fitness class that they go to and like to change every couple of months to the new, hot thing. So making it more like an exclusive club rather than something you can do any time is probably a very good strategy for longevity.

Wow. If it’s that popular perhaps they should raise prices, or build more stores. Or both.

A lot of time that’s the fastest way to increase profit. (The real end goal here)

Ramit… no offense, but that idea of ‘loose X lbs in Y days/weeks’ approach seems scammy – though it may be because I’ve watched WAY TOO MANY infomercials – so I may be quite biased against that approach :)

Instead, I would go with ‘pure barre — release your inner ballerina, have fun, get fit in the process’ since it distracts potential cystomers’ brains from the ‘fitness’ mindset, bringing in the fun they’ll have as the key aspect, while fitness is relegated to be the “obvious” byproduct of having such fun with ballet.

With concern to the math going for it:
Number of new walk-ins per day: 15

Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 2/15

Revenue per membership: $225/month

Using the same logic you use with 30 days/month, this totals: $15,000

However, I would personally use a more conservative logic with 20 workdays/month, which would total: $10,000

Still pretty good, imho .xD

I think the windows in the front of this store a huge missed marketing and branding opportunity (Potential loss of revenue: $300K+). It has the potential to be a massive billboard for every pair of eyes that drive or walk past it. It looks boring now and has nothing that excites us to investigate further.

You can see in the picture that they currently have frosted vinyl up on the windows, this provides privacy but does nothing else. I see tremendous value by replacing this with perforated vinyl (you can see through it from the inside but not the outside). You would still get the privacy within the studio.

Think about driving by any Vitamin Shoppe that uses their large window graphics to promote their store with images of healthy people doing exercise and eating supplements etc. they are using perforated vinyl signage.

The windows have images of a class in session, ballet/dancer type of women, and promotes something about health, toning, community, and being a super efficient/timely workout. Also promoting: ‘first week free’, try it out at no risk and decide if its for you.

By announcing exactly what you offer and who you are offering these classes to (your ideal prospect), its possible to get a higher conversion rate due to the fact that anyone walking in most likely fits your ideal prospect’s profile.

You have ‘pre-qualified’ and attracted a more specific prospect with your signage. You’re also offering the first week free, lets assume you double your conversion ratio because of this and also double the amount of walk-ins.

Number of new walk-ins per day: 20
Number of walk-ins who buy a membership: 4/20
Revenue per membership: $225/month
30 days/month, this totals: $27,000
Yearly: $324,000 in new revenue

Three options…

We’ll give you the body that men LOVE

FITNESS to achieve your GOALS

FITNESS that women LOVE

Thanks Ramit!!! bye

“Get Your Ballet Body Without Requiring a Dancer’s Dedication”

And I’ll echo what Jon Bowes said above regarding asking your curent clients WHY they are using your product/service… they are the real marketing experts. Ask them why they love what you offer, then sift through their responses to discover the GOLD.

Bring a friend. You will get 50% discount. If you bring 2x friends, you will get 2x 50%. If you bring 3x friends, you will get 3x 50%. To be fare to all 3 friends each will have 50% discounts. This is a Plus, (First friend gets 50% discount. Second friend gets 50% discount. Third friend gets 50% discount.) If the first friend brings a friend in another 3 months, first of that 3 months will incur 50% discount added to her membership. So after every 3 months first friend brings a friend, a recurring 50% discount added to her membership. That is an endless revenue generating. Plus you will enjoy using the gym because you will be with your friends every time. Also, all of the friends will not get bored, it will be some sort of a meeting place to air and let loose. Problem solved!

As a middle class white woman in her 30s, I quickly picked up on the ballet aspect. Before I looked at their website, I mentally put them in the same category as lulumon: exercise for upper middle class women, generally under 40 and who either are or were in the corporate world (I say were because I can see many stay at home moms/momtreprenuers being interested in it.) After checking their website, it mostly came off as what I expected.

As a type (or stereotype to a degree) these women have more income and less time. They are looking for something that fits into their busy life. If it is fun and social (which pure barre appears to be) then that added value. Looking at their online reviews, many of the women who attend are already athletic, mainly runners. For these women, they usually want to add some flexibility but not typical strength workout. Toning up is nice, but they aren’t looking to lift weights at the gym.

So how would I market at the store? I’d put a sign reading “fast, fun, flexible low-impact workouts” possibly also a sign promoting their 3 month Bridal Package and Baby Bounce Back programs. I probably wouldn’t put a price in the window, not even promoting their $99 introductory month.

The Bridal Package and Baby Bounce Back products are $375 for 3 months. Here are some numbers based on that.

10 new walk ins per day
1 out of every 10 sign up for the 3 month program: $375
Total Each Month from New Sign Ups: $11,250

Dear Ramit,
If I were manager of the said gym, I would write Spend $10 and become the wealthiest and healthiest man on earth
This way, I have gone up to $300.
Daily Visitors=10
1 out of every 10 signs up=300
Total Each Month from New Sign Ups: $9000
WOW!

marc prager

I have just started today a Movenpick Swiss ice cream and cookies stand in a seasonal fun fair in Dubai (yes in the United Arab Emirates).
There are at least 30 direct and indirect competitors on site. I had boards made and I need to write something to attract the impulse buyers walking by. What do you think?
– ” Happiness starts here”
– “Taste the Best Ice Cream in Switzerland
– “21 Flavors to choose from”
– “Oma’s home baked cookies”
– “Remember how cookies are supposed to taste “

I guess in this fast-paced society where we are bombarded by advertisements everywhere and people are jaded, pictures probably will speak a thousand words.

I’d put a BIG BEFORE & AFTER genuine testimonial at the front window to pique passers-bys’ curiosity or, add a funny logo with a very fit looking girl working out in ballerina shoes

Ideally, change the name to “Ballet Body”.
Taglines:
Dancer’s body in one hour a week.
Tone like a ballerina.

Ramit,
I just love that you talked about timeshare sales pitches! I work as the director of business development with B2B sales for a law firm that focuses about 90% of their business on getting people OUT of timeshare contracts. I was laughing as I read this post, so thanks for that! :) Totally made my night!

rosario burruel

I don’t know how to calculate the revenue for the percentage i mention in the slogan, but this is what i would advertise. ” TO ALL WOMEN GOIN THE 3Olb LOSE CLUB AND GET 1O% OFF YOUR MEMBERSHIP”

rosario burruel

I made an error in the slogan it was suppose to say “LOSER” not “LOSE”. But I guess it could work ether way.

On the storefront I would write ‘Dance to be fit’. Ballet is dancing and all genders are welcome. Anyone who loves dancing or is interested to do it would come into the studio and then find out what kind of dancing it is and from there we can turn them into our customers. Even if a person was never interested in ballet, they are still interested in dancing and I am sure they would like to try out something new. I would share our customer results, show photos. Let’s say we have 10 walk ins, I think 5/10 would buy the membership as the market we are targeting is quite direct and people who are not interested in dancing won’t even go inside the studio so let’s say that every second customer would like to try out the membership and we would give a special deal to the first comers for the first month which will be $199 per month instead of $225.
Revenue per month: 5 people x 30 days x 199/monthly= 29,850 per month

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blog that’s equally educative and interesting, and let
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I am very happy I came across this during my hunt
for something relating to this.

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