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Ramit’s Tough Love for Delusional People

One of the most interesting parts of human nature is our massive, unrelenting ability to TOTALLY DELUDE THE SHIT OUT OF OURSELVES.

The funny part is, we look at other entitled young people and shake our head…but forget to look in the mirror!

I want to share a couple of the responses I got from last week’s email I wrote about asking for help. I actually decided to reply to a bunch of people.

I asked each of them a simple question:

“So what are you going to do?”


Out of hundreds of emails I sent, I’ve gotten less than 5 replies.

You guys, let me point out what’s going on here.

Most people have this vague feeling they’re not doing something right, but they have zero concept of how to take a specific action forward. When I asked them, “What are you going to do?”

  1. Most didn’t reply at all, and
  2. The only people who replied said… “What do you mean? I’m going to become get more motivated in 2016 and start making a list of things on Monday.”


In other words, they have no idea how to break a problem down. And instead of taking specific, concrete action (i.e., something physical and concrete), they think “getting motivated” is enough.

In the fitness world, they call this FEELZ > REALZ. This describes people who vow that “This year I’m going to lose 20lbs!” and think that will work. Despite what delusional life coaches tell you, FEELZ don’t matter. We live in the real world where all that matters is what you do.

I know I could have written an email full of puppies and promises about how great you are, but aren’t you tired of people lying to you? How many of us have people around us — parents, friends, even the sites we read — that say, “You tried your best”…when you know you really didn’t?

Would it be worth it to confront some uncomfortable truths about yourself…if it meant you could actually do all those things you were dreaming about on New Year’s Eve?

Lemme show you what I mean.

I was reading an article about how 63% of Americans are one paycheck away from being on the street. Does anyone else find this insane?

What’s more amazing is the response — the Reddit comments make me realize that every time I see some annoying group of millennials walking around, I want to kill them.

Do you see what’s going on here? Virtually every single comment is blaming someone else for their problems. It’s the government, it’s student loans, it’s Wall Street, it’s my parents. Waa

Of course there are structural issues that make it tough to buy a house in your 20s like your parents (but surprisingly, did you know real estate is not the best investment you can make?).

Weird how nobody mentions that their parents didn’t buy an iPhone, monthly cable/Internet for $200/month, and on and on…

This SINGLE comment stood out to me:

Here’s an uncomfortable truth.

Yes, society is tough. But the problem is you.

Life isn’t fair. How would an immigrant from India handle not making enough? You know exactly what they would do: they’d save money by cooking at home, share a room with 3 other people, study hard, and improve their job.

I learned that from my parents, who met, got married in 7 days, flew across the world, and raised 4 children. They just celebrated their 40th anniversary.

And now their son graduated from Stanford, became a New York Times bestselling author, and writes for a million people a month. It happens. They never would have dreamed about blaming their lack of money on the government, the economy, or their grandparents.

My parents would have laughed in my face if I had blamed Baby Boomers. “What the hell is this nonsense? Go back and study that spelling book.” And that’s how I fucking won so many spelling bees.

If you’ve been reading my material for months or years, and you’re not earning what you want to earn — whether it’s $50,000/year, $150,000/year, or even $400,000/year — the problem is you.

It’s not the world. It’s not the government. It’s not your parents. You have all the information you need — and 98% of it is free on my site.

How many of us bristle at the thought of it being our fault? We ask, “What about the economy?” Or my student loans? Baby Boomers used to be able to make it on one income, yet we have…”

My response:

Welcome to the club.

Over the last few years you’ve seen — what — a dozen case studies? A hundred? A thousand?

Every one of them had obstacles they had to overcome, just like you. That’s life.

And one last thing. When I say life isn’t fair, I know that we all start at different places. Some people are smarter, some are more attractive, and some were born into great families. Others had terrible parents, no sense of style, and didn’t even go to college. I grew up looking like a broomstick with body hair.

I’m sympathetic. In many ways, I was fortunate to have 2 loving parents who pushed me to be the best.

But I’ll also tell you something: Even if it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility.

The problem may be you, but so is the solution.

You might have had a bad childhood, you might have a lazy husband, you might be genuinely busy. But you also have every single thing you need, right in front of you, to make a change in your life.

Have a horrible boss? Ok — get a new one.

Shit, if you’re a top performer, I’ll hire you. I have several different job openings here at IWT. Every one of them is 100% remote. So — no matter where you live — you could be working with some of the most talented people on earth, starting next week. If you don’t see a position you’re interested in then use this free material to go out and find one somewhere else.

Or go start a side business and become your own boss.

The problem, and the solution, is you.

I wish you every success — I’ll be here to help.

But I will never let you make excuses like those whiners on Reddit.