We rewrote this guy’s profile and got him 4x the number of dates. Watch how you can use copywriting to improve your relationships, dating, or even long-term relationship.
For privacy, this is not his real name or photo.
Our co-worker “Esteban” is a great guy, but he still wasn’t having any luck on dating sites like Tinder or OKCupid.
We took one look at his profile and instantly knew why.
He’s a great guy, but he wasn’t presenting himself the right way.
This is true for dating, job applications, even once you’re married. You could be the nicest, most thoughtful person, but if you can’t communicate it, none of that matters.
(Sorry, angry internet trolls who believe “s/he should love me for who I am.” You need to make yourself attractive. Boo hoo.)
So one of our copywriters decided to do an experiment and hijacked his dating profile.
Here’s what happened
Within 24 hours of Esteban’s new profile going up, he had 275% more women responding to him.
Here’s how they did it.
The problems with his profile:
- Too many boring cliches: “I spend a lot of time thinking about how to be happy”
- ZzZzzzzZ: “On a regular Friday night I hang out with some friends and have a drink or four” (hint: show, don’t tell)
- Weird phrase that sounds odd: “…Took some kids up some mountains in France for a bit…”
What we changed:
Our copywriters didn’t do anything manipulative. They didn’t lie, or exaggerate, or replace his picture with some studio-quality headshot. Instead, they took what he already had in his profile and polished it.
- Put exactly what he was looking for at the beginning
- Cut all the cliches out of the profile
- Rewrote the description of his job to focus on the cool parts, not the boring day to day
- Changed the last line to be exciting and unique
And this is what happened:
One person said, “So much less douchey than most internet people”
Esteban is a great guy, but he wasn’t having much luck online. We helped Esteban get nearly FOUR TIMES the number of dates overnight.
All using good writing.
I’m talking about taking someone who’s awesome — funny, smart, caring — and using the right words to let your best qualities shine through. Do you see how important this is?
You might be the most funny, smart, caring person…but if you can’t communicate it, nobody will ever know.
I love doing little experiments like this to find easy fixes that help you lead a Rich Life.
What else should we experiment on? Leave a comment below. I’ll read every response.